Whew... It's been exactly 2 months since my last entry. Yep, things have been busy indeed.
So what has happened lately? Well, remember the new endeavor I entered? It's been a friggin' blast. How I wish it was my full-time job though I know it can be --- but not just yet. As for my real job, well, I've had some recent successes which also put me back to the good praises of my boss. Not that I didn't doubt it, but as they say, timing is everything.
I guess the only thing different is the competing aspect that I have been doing the last 4 weeks. I know I have competed in a team concept/setting for some 17 years now, but I've never competed individually. I think this is the first time and I have discovered much about myself in terms of what I can do, and what I have to work on if I want to get better. I think I'll dedicate another blog about this one, but at this point, a lot of self-discovery has been going on the last couple of months.
It's been an interesting ride so far. Later.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Collusion
I can't deny the fact that a recent event has kept me still buzzed. I mean it's an event that I have no control over and will never be a part of because I am not part of the cast of characters. However it does leave my appetite for curiosity (In Filipino, "chismoso" mode) in a state of flux.
Why did it happen? What compelled it to happen? What is there goal and mission? Who initiated it in the first place? Why are others involved? Who are true and who are fake/riders? And questions linger...and still linger...
At the end of the day, I'm just saddened because friendships are affected. Views of certain people towards each other have changed -- or I assume to have changed. Am I affected, of course. Will I dwell over it? Maybe for awhile, especially if they talk behind my back and spit crap about me.... but life goes on, and shit deserves to be left behind.
All I can say is this event was conceived out of a collusion of pride and greed. Or my gut feel tells me so... It's more self-serving and ego-feeding than anything else. And it's the same "power" that influenced others to join the cause.... A small clique which actually became and grew into a small "movement" that caused this event. My take on this clique though is that they, except maybe 1 or 2 whom I highly respect and consider logical and objective, are immature, cocky, and egotistical. Of course, young as they are -- they can get full of themselves easily. Then again, I could be quite wrong to assume such...Yet, what will make them change overnight in terms of attitude?
Which makes me think is this bond that they all share really GENUINE friendship? A solid partnership? Or a collusion that is allowing them to use each other for the sake of "personal" goals? It's a BUSINESS, right? Money matters in the end, more than the cause. If cause is greater, you're an NGO or a Charity...
If the manner on how they exited is a reflection of their character, what will stop that from rearing its ugly head again in this new venture that they entered. Will it come to a point that they will also "eat" each other? Honestly, I'd really pay to see this happen, boys and girls.
I have a saying to "always find the good in everything". Right now, I can't find the good in this "collusion" -- I've seen it happen before, personal ambition and individual character will erode into the group, squabbling, etc, etc.... The personalities are just too combustible...Wait, I'd also pay extra to see everyone there work with each other when everyone wakes up on a bad day.
Get your popcorn ready...
Why did it happen? What compelled it to happen? What is there goal and mission? Who initiated it in the first place? Why are others involved? Who are true and who are fake/riders? And questions linger...and still linger...
At the end of the day, I'm just saddened because friendships are affected. Views of certain people towards each other have changed -- or I assume to have changed. Am I affected, of course. Will I dwell over it? Maybe for awhile, especially if they talk behind my back and spit crap about me.... but life goes on, and shit deserves to be left behind.
All I can say is this event was conceived out of a collusion of pride and greed. Or my gut feel tells me so... It's more self-serving and ego-feeding than anything else. And it's the same "power" that influenced others to join the cause.... A small clique which actually became and grew into a small "movement" that caused this event. My take on this clique though is that they, except maybe 1 or 2 whom I highly respect and consider logical and objective, are immature, cocky, and egotistical. Of course, young as they are -- they can get full of themselves easily. Then again, I could be quite wrong to assume such...Yet, what will make them change overnight in terms of attitude?
Which makes me think is this bond that they all share really GENUINE friendship? A solid partnership? Or a collusion that is allowing them to use each other for the sake of "personal" goals? It's a BUSINESS, right? Money matters in the end, more than the cause. If cause is greater, you're an NGO or a Charity...
If the manner on how they exited is a reflection of their character, what will stop that from rearing its ugly head again in this new venture that they entered. Will it come to a point that they will also "eat" each other? Honestly, I'd really pay to see this happen, boys and girls.
I have a saying to "always find the good in everything". Right now, I can't find the good in this "collusion" -- I've seen it happen before, personal ambition and individual character will erode into the group, squabbling, etc, etc.... The personalities are just too combustible...Wait, I'd also pay extra to see everyone there work with each other when everyone wakes up on a bad day.
Get your popcorn ready...
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Comfortability
Fleeting thoughts....
There are various levels of comfortability with people --- family, friends, office mates, colleagues and even acquaintances. And when I say that, its generally towards the platonic sense especially if you are married, engaged or in a relationship/union. No strings. Nothing at all. Just "friends".
In my honest opinion, comfortability between people transcends origins, backgrounds, beliefs, religion, distance, age, etc. Question is what if you find someone who frankly you are very comfortable with... meaning you are naturally you. Free. Alive. In your element. Genuinely you. And maybe --- just maybe --- over someone you are with. The person you are with you love so dearly (and yes, its the choice you made) but you have to "fight" every day to be "you". Or compromise to even get glimpses, patches or have moments of your true self. I will not argue the fact that some "unions" are meant for each other, but let's be realistic, there are others that don't work out as much as they try. They stay on but at what price. While others just bite the bullet, and go their separate ways.
It is quandary that you find someone whether your "soulmate" or soulmatesque -- that person that you totally connect with and finds yourself in your natural/true state -- BUT you are with someone else.
Emotions will tell you "Why now?", "What's this supposed to mean" or thought processes which will test you. On the other hand, Logic will tell you" You are with the one", "You made a choice", blah, blah. We've seen and felt this before the angel-devil conversations in your head.
I think I am going through one and I haven't told anyone -- well, maybe 1 --- and my "master" says to "walk the straight path". I think I've always walked the straight path and I've gotten so good at it that I can do cartwheels, somersaults and stuff on the darned path. I've disciplined myself so much that I can easily deny myself of certain emotions, and kill it just like that.
Until now.
There are various levels of comfortability with people --- family, friends, office mates, colleagues and even acquaintances. And when I say that, its generally towards the platonic sense especially if you are married, engaged or in a relationship/union. No strings. Nothing at all. Just "friends".
In my honest opinion, comfortability between people transcends origins, backgrounds, beliefs, religion, distance, age, etc. Question is what if you find someone who frankly you are very comfortable with... meaning you are naturally you. Free. Alive. In your element. Genuinely you. And maybe --- just maybe --- over someone you are with. The person you are with you love so dearly (and yes, its the choice you made) but you have to "fight" every day to be "you". Or compromise to even get glimpses, patches or have moments of your true self. I will not argue the fact that some "unions" are meant for each other, but let's be realistic, there are others that don't work out as much as they try. They stay on but at what price. While others just bite the bullet, and go their separate ways.
It is quandary that you find someone whether your "soulmate" or soulmatesque -- that person that you totally connect with and finds yourself in your natural/true state -- BUT you are with someone else.
Emotions will tell you "Why now?", "What's this supposed to mean" or thought processes which will test you. On the other hand, Logic will tell you" You are with the one", "You made a choice", blah, blah. We've seen and felt this before the angel-devil conversations in your head.
I think I am going through one and I haven't told anyone -- well, maybe 1 --- and my "master" says to "walk the straight path". I think I've always walked the straight path and I've gotten so good at it that I can do cartwheels, somersaults and stuff on the darned path. I've disciplined myself so much that I can easily deny myself of certain emotions, and kill it just like that.
Until now.
Developments
Close to halfway into this new month, I've embarked on something new. And maybe for the first time in a long time, I feel happy. I mean I'm happy. I really thank God, my "first job" boss and my S.O. for supporting me and giving me this opportunity to pursue it.
This whole week I'm at it which is my first btw -- it's like my passion, energy and confidence is on personal-high levels. On the downside, I'm drained, but you know it's all worth it. When was the last time I felt like that? Or if i ever felt like that? I dunno, but it's awesome.
Even if the money isn't good (yet), I don't care. Sometimes I think, I was really born to do this. Could this be my calling? Perhaps.
So now the aim is to be better than yesterday. I will keep trying so I can be the best I can be, so my community can be also the best they ought to be. Be extraordinary!
This whole week I'm at it which is my first btw -- it's like my passion, energy and confidence is on personal-high levels. On the downside, I'm drained, but you know it's all worth it. When was the last time I felt like that? Or if i ever felt like that? I dunno, but it's awesome.
Even if the money isn't good (yet), I don't care. Sometimes I think, I was really born to do this. Could this be my calling? Perhaps.
So now the aim is to be better than yesterday. I will keep trying so I can be the best I can be, so my community can be also the best they ought to be. Be extraordinary!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Year. New Something.
2-0-1-2.
Another New Year!
This year I decide to write again. You can't have enough outlets. So I decide to add this one to the outlet arsenal. I have a ton of things to write about -- thoughts, feelings, opinions, and just for the moment blah.
Excited. Can't wait for the first major entry. Later!
Another New Year!
This year I decide to write again. You can't have enough outlets. So I decide to add this one to the outlet arsenal. I have a ton of things to write about -- thoughts, feelings, opinions, and just for the moment blah.
Excited. Can't wait for the first major entry. Later!
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